A visit from St Nicky – ‘twas the week before Christmas’

Janet Downs's picture
‘Twas the week before Christmas, when all through the House,
Rebellion was stirring, which threatened to douse
The new Bill promoted with puff and hot air,
In hopes that St Nicky would be forced to repair.
The Lords were assembled, the great and the good,
All set to state firmly where each one of them stood.
The first amendment was tied – the same votes on each side,
But 14 squashed the second – the rebellion had died.
Away to the Telegraph I flew like a flash,
Tore open the paper and came to earth with a crash,
I knew in a second it must be St Nick
Who’d dashed off a missive, fervent and frantic.
She speaks of a contest, it is Black and White,
Opposition is Wrong; her policies are Right.
The clichés fall faster than snow in a storm
She attacks ‘vested interests’ – those who ‘oppose reform’ -
Peers face a choice, they must hear the call:
Leave schools to ‘languish’ or promote excellence for all;
‘Back handing power to our best teachers’, she cries
(She forgot heads in academies have their hands tied,
Governors and teachers all bend their knees
To decisions made centrally by academy trustees.)
A false choice she offers to those who disagree -
It’s either ‘improving standards’ or letting ‘failing schools’ be,
But opposing St Nicky isn’t being satisfied with failing,
It’s showing St Nicky her policies are ailing.
Academy sponsorship isn’t all it’s cracked up to be,
Stop hyping its success, said a cross-party Committee.
The National Auditor, waving his academies report,
Cried academization’s less effective than local support.
But St Nicky’s eyes are bright with evangelical fervour,
The only opinions she rates are those which will serve her.
Her juggernaut won’t stop until all opposition is crushed,
And genuine concerns under the carpet are brushed.
And when the light dawns on St Nicky’s bright Christmas morn,
What rough beast has slouched towards Bethlehem to be born?

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Sue Gollop's picture
Thu, 17/12/2015 - 15:45

This is just brilliant.
I would laugh if only I didn't feel like weeping for the reality behind the humour.
Well done

Leah K Stewart's picture
Fri, 18/12/2015 - 10:06

Tehe! Bravo Janet. I've re-tweeted x

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