Down! Filthy Hags! How the Bard’s exclamation marks would fail KS2 tests
The scene: a blasted heath. Macbeth exhorts the witches to foretell the future. The three hags conjure bloodied kings and the murdered Banquo.
‘Thou art too like the spirit of Banquo. Down!...Filthy hags! Why do you show me this? – A fourth? Start eye!...A seventh! I’ll see no more!...Horrible sight!’
Even my truncated version of Macbeth’s feeling of revulsion reveals the horror of this scene. It is spine-chilling.
But would its use of exclamation marks gain Shakespeare a mark in the Key Stage 2 Punctuation, Spelling and Grammar test?
The answer is no. The marking scheme states:
‘For the purposes of the English grammar, punctuation and spelling test, an exclamation is required to start with What or How, e.g.
• What a lovely day!
• How exciting!
A sentence that ends in an exclamation mark, but which does not have one of the grammatical patterns shown above, is not considered to be creditworthy as an exclamation.’
None of Shakespeare’s exclamations begin with ‘What’ or ‘How’. They are, therefore, not ‘creditworthy’.
We don’t know, of course, whether Shakespeare put in these marks or whether it was the compositors. I checked the First Folio and the printers obviously thought they were needed.
But those who devised the KS2 mark scheme would give Shakespeare no reward. They would consider ‘Filthy hags!’ unworthy of a mark while ‘How exciting!’ is. I can only surmise that those who wrote these instructions have no feel for language. They appear to value a spurious measure of correctness over vivid use.
David Crystal, in The Cambridge Encyclopaedia of the English Language defines an exclamation as ‘A emotional expression marked by a strong intonation in speech or by an exclamation point in writing’. He gives ‘Good grief!’ as an example. He says nothing about only using an exclamation mark after expressions beginning with ‘What’ or ‘How’.
Think how Shakespeare’s work would have been stilted if, as a young schoolboy, he had been told it was not creditworthy to use an exclamation mark unless preceded by one of the mandatory words:
'What filthy hags!' How my eye will start! ‘How I’ll see no more!’ ‘What a horrible sight’.
The power of Shakespeare’s language is dulled: its power to evoke horror has been muted. The middle two don’t make sense and don’t replicate how people actually speak.
But it would be creditworthy and would be awarded marks.
Bill Esterson, Labour MP, asked the schools minister Nick Gibb if asking questions about the ‘subjunctive form, past progressive, subordinating, conjunction’ risked setting 10 and 11-year-olds up for failure. Insisting on starting exclamations with ‘What’ or ‘How’ could be added to the Esterson's list.
Gibb said, ‘…for the first time in several generations primary schools are explicitly teaching English grammar. The hon. Gentleman should welcome these reforms.’
But as Oliver Kamm says: English speakers pick up English grammar unconsciously when they learn to. That’s because grammar is about such things as word order and constructing tenses. It’s not about pedantic rules governing such things as split infinitives and ending a sentence with a preposition.
That’s not to say pupils shouldn’t learn linguistic terms – they’re useful when discussing how writers use language. Or better still, use what they’ve encountered in their own stories, scripts, articles, reports, puns and poems.
But love of language must come first. Nothing kills literature stone dead more than picking out adjectives, adverbs and so on for no better reason than identification. Identification alone doesn’t reveal how an author uses language to amuse, persuade, challenge evoke or suggest. Vivisection kills what is being dissected. And it diminishes the work of great writers to reduce it to the naming of parts.
This is a companion piece to my Gilbert and Sullivan parody, ‘I am the very model of a modern day grammarian.'